Fan Fiction Defense

  Alternate Universes

Smallville: Random "Nicodemus" Musings

Finally, *finally* the Future of Fandom & I got to snuggle up and watch the ep, giggling girlishly.

1. FoF points out that just because Lex is paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get him. Everyone who is flower-zapped targets Lex, one way or another, including Beals in a way -- he's trying to squeal to Lionel, isn't he? And then I notice that when Hamilton looks at the plant in the jar, it kind of sidles up to him as though sentient . . .

2. Hug Lex Now, before the writers beat him up *again*. And because they want to drive him to Eeevil (and leather pants, I console myself) by having everybody mistrust him so consistently that he gives up and just does what they all expect.

3. They know we're out here, and they put whipped cream on Lex's lips just for us. We don't mind.

4. I agree with whoever upgraded Whitney from "bi" to "closeted gay." We've now established to my satisfaction (a) that Lana is a virgin (b) who has been going out with a football player (c) who turns down her offer of sex and (d) who says she goes out with him because he makes her feel "safe". And when she's back in Virgin!Lana mode, he takes her back even though she broke up with him in public. Conclusion: Whitney isn't truly interested in sex with girls, and Lana is the perfect beard.

5. Clark knows a heck of a lot more about kissing now than he did earlier in the season (Chloe, Tina-as-Lana). Practice, practice, practice. I am disappointed to see that so far they are dodging the whole Clark-afraid-of-losing-control-in-sex issue that Clex writers have so much fun with. Did "Lois & Clark" ever deal with this issue, or with the "Man of Steel, Close Personal Friend of Kleenex" problem? Is there much Alien!Clark in L&C fanfic?

6. *If* the writers were interested in developing Lana's character, they would have made her sexual acting-out here part of a conflict between her desire to identify with her mother and her desire to identify with Nell -- who did raise her, after all. But while the nature/ nurture conflict is being explored for Lex & Clark, they are ignoring it for Lana. Alpha!Lana is much more fun than regular, and proves that KK can indeed act & have facial expressions & everything, but we still don't see how her sexuality works, how it fits into her usual virginal good-girl image. (I wonder if I'm making any sense?)

7. Pete got lines! And sexuality! And character development! And some fanfic! I'm so happy. Chloe should take her own advice and go for him.

8. Chloe also gets the best line of the show: "playing with your telescope." And delivered *just* right.

9. I wonder how Lana ended up being the one going out to the accident scene at night with Chloe, hm? And if she made a pass at Chloe on the way home, after being flower-zapped?

A few more idea-ettes.

10. FoF says, "Get new UltraLana! batteriesnotincludedsomeassemblyrequired."

11. We notice something we think is rather strange, but we don't know if the writers think it's strange, too. Lana made passes at 3 guys without telling any of them anything positive about themselves, except that Lex is "experienced." Heh. No "I like you", no "I think you're really hot, [your name here]," no praise for their various praiseworthy physical & mental attributes. No wonder she was 0-for-3. Now, I wonder if she happened to say, "you know, I really like you, Chloe" during that car ride . . . Anyhow, we can't figure out how Clark could describe her speech at the pool as her saying everything he's always wanted to hear, when she doesn't say anything about liking him, much less being in love. We don't know if this means the scriptwriters are very stupid, or very clever.

damn. there was another idea, but it went pooftda.


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by Mary Ellen, "Doctor Science, MA"



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updated November 8, 2002

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