Fan Fiction Defense

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Smallville: Random "Vertigo" Musings

More Family Viewing Fun.

1. At least one XY-het person (aka "guy") is not o'erwhelmed by Lana. My husband calls Annette O'Toole "The Hot One" and wishes she got more screen time. But then, my family uniformly deprecates Lana as being the kind of girl who goes out with blond football players.

2. We are now to the point where every time Bo Kent opens his mouth we laugh helplessly, because we can just see the damn platypus crawling out.

3. "Turn around, bend over, turn around, bend over; don't people have any *imagination*?!?" thinks Lex.

4. I do not personally feel the Whitneylurve, but I see it. My gaydar damn near exploded when he said, "my personal boyscout". I trust I'll see that line in a *lot* of fic.

5. Judging by Whitney's reaction to the rent-a-slut at the Three Stooges' place, Lana is still a virgin.

6. The Future of Fandom (age 12) thinks that Clark should fear the Lex/Chloe vibe, because it would take them only about 10 minutes of comparing notes to crack all his secrets.

7. FoF also thinks Lex has demonstrated his immunity to Lana's mind-control pheromones.

8. Thanks to Neutrogena, I now realize that KK is really quite a skilled actress. Really. You can see it quite clearly in the ep's final scene. When she starts her spiel to Lex, she's using *exactly* the sing-songy voice of a 16-year-old giving an oral report. And the head-bobbing and lip-firming thing she does are also, clearly, part of the characterization, not KK herself. Her clothes in this ep are also very little-girly.

9. "I saved you, didn't I? And that turned out all right." And I fell over with a *thunk* of lurve.

10. This plot, er, plotoid object, is supremely stupid. How do their clothes go through walls? What about the loot they loot? When Chloe opened her mouth to give the "explanation" we had to stop the tape again so we could all howl with agonized laughter, knowing that she was about to say something (a) supremely stupid that (b) would be correct. Spackle at your own risk.

11. I notice that the "tatoo ink" disappeared, and that Lex was wearing his way kewl 3/4-length coat. Bets the ink is in Lex's collection.


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by Mary Ellen, "Doctor Science, MA"


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updated November 8, 2002

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