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Smallville: Random "Zero" Musings

I was away for most of last week, so we only saw "Zero" early Tuesday evening. Those present included myself, the Future of Fandom (age 12) and the Distant Future of Fandom (age 6); Our was off fencing.

1. FoF says, what's the ep title? I say, Zero. Ah, she says, Zero as in -- Club Zero, zero consequences, zero plot. She does admit that, as an anime fan, she's used to ignoring plot holes and improbabilities.

I have thought of a devious and evil way to spackle the plot so that it doesn't depend so much on raving coincidence and people being incredibly stupid. Here goes:

Amanda went whacko (or is it wacko?) after Jude's death, so wacko she decided to turn herself into him. She got the kind of flawless plastic surgery and sex-change operation that are standard in soap opera universes. Her brother didn't run into "Not-Jude" by coincidence, it was her set-up to manipulate her own brother (who would never understand the sex-change thing) into helping her get to a point where she could torture Lex. Of course, that means he ends up killing his own sister, for whose sake he's doing all this. Oh, the irony!

But who is paying for all this? And how did Amanda and/or her bro manage to get hold of toxic waste from the LuthorCorp plant? Well, Lionel? Did Lex fail your test, or pass it?

2. In my own little world, the high point of Zero was c. 96-97 -- when Lex accumulated his juvie record -- and the pitifully inadequate debauchery we see in this ep is part of the club's slide into uncool oblivion. And in those early days Lex's clubbing clothes were a *lot* tighter and fewer.

3. Lex Going Evil: well, in this ep we learn that Lex will do anything for his friends, and that includes taking the rap for their crimes and letting himself be tortured to protect them. It's the Dark Prince formula:

When the Dark Prince does something wicked that of course is actually a Noble Deed, performed for the sake of love, knowing that he'll be misunderstood and railed against by lesser ignorant folk who don't grasp the finer capabilities beneath his cold exterior... well, I mean, *zowie*." (formula courtesy Jane Mortimer)

4. I swear, the writers sit around saying, "How do we hurt Lex this week?" And since they don't put in any comfort, is it any wonder we fans have to provide it? Maybe he goes Eeevil just because he needs better medical coverage.

5. I looked and looked, and still I can't figure out how Lex fell off the balcony instead of being shot. And where all the glass came from.

Later, meagan reported:

I've been told that there was an oopsie on the set. The stunt went wrong. The glass came from an aquarium (*why* would they put an *aquarium* on the second floor of a club? Whatever) that Lex went sailing through somehow. Because the stunt went wrong, they had to just say, "Fuck it," and use what they had already shot. The stunt doesn't fit the surrounding actions because it wasn't supposed to happen that way.

6. There is absolutely no question around here that Lionel helped arrange Clark's adoption.

7. Chloe's healing and the Talon renovations imply at least 6 weeks between "Vertigo" and "Zero". Actually, the renovations would take at least 4 months, but *waves hands magically*.

8. After the Chloe-interviewing-the-Kents scene, Clark leaves saying he's going to interview Lana. This interview, which he later says took "an hour", only finishes up well after dark. I think our boy could be missing up to 3 hours -- and who might he spend them with, hmmm?!?


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by Mary Ellen, "Doctor Science, MA"



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updated November 8, 2002

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